im about as happy as oj after his trial
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize