I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
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So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
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Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
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