he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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