I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
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There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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