I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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