how can u be prego again
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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