i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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