I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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