I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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