Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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