Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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