I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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