And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize