apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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