She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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