At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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