just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
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I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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