She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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