i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize