Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dicks are not precious.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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