White coat. Heels.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize