Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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