Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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