Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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