my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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