i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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