Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize