whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize