the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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