What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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