Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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