question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize