I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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