No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize