Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Randomize