Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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