Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
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She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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