he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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