Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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