I just saw a hot homeless man
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize