I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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