I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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