If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
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