We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize