At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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