About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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