With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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