You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it's like heaven, but drunker
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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