I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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