she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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